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So this entry started as a comment to gethawt_getfit. then I realized it would make a great entry so here it is:

I agree with you that logging food will help establish patterns… but I actually don't think I really have a pattern… I know that is weird… and I know people will think this is an excuse, and that's ok because I know it's real, but I truly believe I suffer from B.E.D. It is a real thing. It stands for Binge Eating Disorder.  I have read a lot about it and I really believe it's my problem.

One website says: "binge eaters often eat even when they’re not hungry and continue eating long after they’re full."

that is me to a tee.  I constantly eat when I'm not hungry. For various reasons being boredom, depression, stress, etc. And what worse is I always realize when I'm doing it!!! ALWAYS. And I say, "no, Kelly, you don't need to eat all of this…. you don't need to eat AT ALL." but it's like I can't control it…. The Mayo Clinic website actually says "But you feel such a compulsion that you can't resist the urges and continue binge eating." And that is exactly what I do. ALWAYS. I realize it. I understand what i'm doing but it's like I have zero control over my actions at the time.

Sometimes I can have success with dieting… like about two months ago I was eating right AND exercising 5-6 times a week. I lost 9 pounds. And then one day, I just stopped. I could see I was making bad decisions and throwing away my 5 weeks of hard work and I couldn't control it… That's when I realized it had to be this BED thing that I heard about in a commercial on Hulu.

I read this on a website, too and I really believe this is my cycle… :

"Binge eating may be comforting for a brief moment, but then reality sets back in, along with regret and self-loathing. Binge eating often leads to weight gain and obesity, which only reinforces compulsive eating. The worse a binge eater feels about themself and their appearance, the more they use food to cope. It becomes a vicious cycle: eating to feel better, feeling even worse, and then turning back to food for relief."

Then I took a quiz on a site to see if my answers would actually determine a likely case of B.E.D. and yes….  this was my result:

BED Likely

People who have scored similarly to you have often qualified for a diagnosis of binge eating disorder (BED).
This is not a diagnosis, or a recommendation for treatment. However, it may be beneficial for you to seek a professional consultation from a trained mental health professional in your community soon, especially if you find these symtpoms interfering your daily life or emotional well-being.

The current severity of your binge eating behavior would likely be characterized as moderate.

I don't even know what kind of treatment you get for this, I'm still reading up on it… But there's bound to be something and I really do want to find it. I am tired of food being the one thing I can depend on because eventually it will bite me in the ass and turn on me… When I wind up single and alone forever, with type 2 Diabetes, or something worse. I have to find an answer.

I mean, you guys, I finished an ENTIRE pizza almost 2 weeks ago. A whole large pizza. All by myself. And I still could've eaten but I forced myself to stop (although a few hours later I had a bowl of cereal even though I wasn't hungry.) Who can do that? Who does that at all?!?!?!?? I felt so disgusting afterwards but it wasn't enough for me to change my habits. There has to be a way to do it. I've done it before... I need to figure out how to go about doing it again so that it works this time.

Now with all that said, I really do want to make a change, I just have to figure out how best to move forward... as odd as it sounds, I'm just glad to know that my behaviors aren't just mine, that other people suffer from this type of thing too... Isn't that awful?


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 29th, 2015 08:22 pm (UTC)
It's not awful to find out that you're not the only one who struggles with this. I've been in and out of brutal bulimic cycles for the last almost 10 years now. Definitely not the same, but that uncontrolled compulsion to eat and the ability to not stop, I get that part.

No idea what treatment would entail but if this impacts your life in such a away I would say go for it. Even if it helps somewhat that's still better than nothing.

Hope your research helps you start to sort this out :)
Aug. 31st, 2015 01:01 am (UTC)
Yes, for SURE, bingeging is a disorder. 1,000% sure. I think this is a REALLY big step for you. I would do a bit more research, or maybe even not, seek the help of a nutritionist and talk to her about. I would go to a nutritionist and talk to her about these concerns, she can confirm them for you, and then she can give you a plan. Now that you may have identified the problem, you can begin a plan to act accordingly. He/she will help you take the appropriate course of action because it is not going to be easy. But with professional help and friends it's going to be a whole lot easier than going about it alone.

It's good to have this all out in the open and to "say" this. It's good to let it off of your chest.

It's not bad to know that other people struggle with the same issue makes you feel better. It's normal. Same with me. xoxo
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )



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