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Day 11

So I haven't updated recently obviously... long story short, my mini-depression over the end of my most recent relationship has creeped back in. I have done good with my eating since the last time I posted. I have stayed under or at my calories each day but I've not been on the treadmill since Tuesday. I just haven't had the energy. I know I will get it back... but right now I'm pretty busy sulking in the loss of the person who had my heart. He just broke it- like it's no big deal. I'm dealing with that big-time tonight. But I'm still on the wagon with the diet, just not so much with the exercise.. i'll get there... i just need to pull myself out of this slump I'm in emotionally. :(

i hope all of you are doing better than me. 

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Day 8

Today was "Weigh-in Wednesday"..

Last week's weight:     206.8
Today's weight:         204.2
Weekly weight loss:       2.6 lbs

So I'm down a total of 3.8 lbs in the first week since I started a week ago yesterday. Not bad... I would love to see a higher number the first week but I've been so exhausted from work this week and getting up at 4:30 every morning to make it to the hospitals for the gown trial we started on monday that I've not felt the motivation I should've felt. I was physically and mentally exhausted. I took yesterday off from running, and I forced myself to run on Monday and was so tired I only did 3/4 mile. I decided not to run yesterday because not only was I on my feet for 8 hours walking the entire hospital but I got home and cut the grass which was a workout in itself since my yard SUCKS to mow. And today was bad too.. not food wise really. I had to get up so early and was running late that I didn't have time to eat breakfast which sucked. I did get to eat a package of peanut butter crackers though which was surprisingly high in calories (250)... then when I got home (I STILL haven't been to the grocery) so I just popped a bag of popcorn and figured I'd eat normal at dinner since I had to meet my coworkers (in from out of town)... I had a shrimp basket which was breaded shrimp and french fries. I only ate half the fries though and a hushpuppy. But they were big shrimp and there was a total of 10 pieces. So I did pretty good considering it wasn't the healthiest of meals. I also drink a TON of water today.

I definitely could have done better but hopefully once this week is over I'll be back on track (with running/walking mainly)...

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Day 6

Today was a big struggle all around. I woke up at 4:00am for work after a night of tossing and turning and only being half asleep, looking at the clock every hour calculating how many hours I had until I had to wake up for work. I normally don't wake up that early ever but we have a big trial of our products going on at a bunch of hospitals and their Operating Rooms start anywhere between 6am and 7am. So I had to wake up at 5am to get ready for work. BUT- because I wasn't sleeping well, by 4am I was laying in bed awake thinking I should just get up. So I did. IT SUCKED.

I didn't feel too tired all day, but I do now. And I have to wake up at 4:45am tomorrow to be downtown by 5:50am. I hate these weeks when I actually have to wake up early, normally I don't wake up until 9ish. LOL. Anyway I stopped by a convenient store this morning at about 5:30a and wanted a banana but they were out so I got a nutri grain bar and only ate half of it because it was SO early I just wasn't hungry yet. Then by about 9:30 or 9:45 me and a coworker sat down and I order a bagel with cream cheese. I only ate half of that too (and wiped off most of the cream cheese) but I think that was more because of the appetite suppressant I'm on. Then for lunch a few hours later I had a half turkey sandwich with american cheese and a dab of mayo and a single serving bag of Baked Doritos. I didn't eat all of the doritos mainly because it was a working lunch and we were talking so I couldn't eat and talk, and then by the time we were done talking, I wasn't hungry anymore. Then for dinner at about 6:00 I had shrimp and grits from a restaurant I'd never been too. It was good. It's hard to calculate calories but I would say that I was definitely at or around the 1200 calorie mark, maybe slightly under. BUT I debated on not doing my mile today since I was exhausted when I got home, but I know I would've felt guilty if I didn't try- so I jumped on the treadmill and walked for about 5 minutes... then I tried jogging but I was wayyyyy to tired. So I walked again. then I jogged until my shin splints kicked in. (they've been SOOOO bad this time around).... then I walked some more and finally I was too tired and my shins hurt so bad that I stopped at 3/4 of a mile. I figure it was ok since I didn't eat too poorly today.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit easier. But I know i'll be super sleepy tomorrow too. I may just try to watch what I eat tomorrow and not do the treadmill at all... I guess we'll see how I feel about it when the time comes. 

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Day 5

Today was kind of lazy. I woke up at about 10:00am and didn't have much motivation to do anything and for some reason I was STARVING. And not starving like I was hungry, I was starving like all I could think about was food. I just wanted to stuff my face. I did pretty good considering.. Today, I had 2 bowls of Lucky Charms with skim milk (450 calories) , I had my extra clam chowder from yesterday that I put in the fridge (300 calories) and i had a bag of microwavable popcorn (150 calories). So that's a total of 900 calories and I'm on a 1200 calorie a day limit. So then I forced myself on the treadmill about an hour ago and I really struggled with it. It took me 13:17 to get my mile finished and I was busting my ass to get there- how sad is that??? I also did a 5 minute warm up walk before the mile and about 3-4 minutes walking to cool down. It was good though and the treadmill estimated I burned a little under 200 calories. So I have almost 500 calories left for today that I really hate to eat tonight since it's going on 9:45pm but I KNOW I need to. I may just pour another quick bowl of cereal or something. Anyway I hope all of you had good days. I don't know about you guys but i'm really struggling! :(

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Day 4

I will definitely be editing this post later but wanted to post while I felt like it. Today it's still early but I got some much needed sleep and didn't wake up until about 10:30am. I figured since i still haven't gone to the grocery, which I really need to do, I would run to McAlister's Deli to get some clam chowder for an early lunch/late breakfast. Which is funny because I have dinner plans with my friend Paige to eat there tonight. Oh well- it's one of my favorite places to go when I'm trying to eat healthy because there are so many options and their calorie counts are so easy to find. Anyway, their cup of clam chowder is only 200 calories and it's SOOOO good. I've been on a big clam chowder kick in the last few months and theirs is the best. Not too clammy but not too potatoe-y either. And they only serve it on Fridays and serve the left overs on Saturday so I knew getting there early would mean I'd still get some. So I got two BOWLS, not cups. I ate one bowl this morning which was 300 calories and I threw the other in the fridge for tomorrow or later today if I was hungry and didn't want to overdo it.

Anyway I normally run/walk in the evenings, but if I can find the motivation I may jump on the treadmill sooner. Just get it out of the way since I've got no plans until later, ya know?... we'll see...

Also, I went to the doctor yesterday to talk to him about anti-depressants (at the suggestion of my mom and a few other people.) For those of you who are new to my life/journal - I went through very rough six months. I lost my  job in December very suddenly after 6 1/2 years. Then about two months ago my relationship of a year and half crumbled and I just had zero energy or motivation for life at all... But since I call it situational depression, I didn't want an anti depressant- YET. I told him I wanted to try to address my weight problems and feel better about myself in general before deciding if I actually needed an anti-depressant. My doctor iked that I wanted to see if I could fix my feelings by working towards my goal. He said it was a good sign that I even had a goal so he encouraged it. So he wrote me a new prescription for an appetite suppressant to help kickstart my weight loss. I think that will really help. I've taken the appetite suppressant before (i took it for two months back in 2010 when I was losing that 35lbs) and it helped tremendously. It curbed my cravings, made me not hungry during the day, so I could eat lightly and by the time dinner rolled around I was hungry but wasn't jonesing for pizza or other junk. So it was always easy to eat a healthy dinner. I see him again in 4 weeks and if I have lost a good amount of weight then, I think he will give me one more month. So here's hopin!

alright, i suppose that's enough for now. I'll edit this post with an update later.

**edit**
I went ahead and got on the treadmill. I did about 25 minutes today. I did a 5 minute walking warm up... then I started jogging at about 5.2mph and I made it .30 miles before I had to stop and walk a bit. then i walked a few minutes and then jogged again, then walked, then sprinted for a very short amount of time.. then jogged slowly. Once I hit my mile I stopped for a moment to catch my breath then I walked about 5 more minutes for a cool down. Total I burned almost 200 calories so I am pretty pleased with that. I'm glad to have made it to .30 before having to start walking- I know I'll get there... All in all, my mile was completed in 12:57 today which is better than my last time so slowly but surely I'm seeing even the slightest improvements.

**2nd edit**
I went for a walk tonight... walked a pretty quick pace too... I met with my friend Jessica at her house and walked around her neighborhood for about 20 minutes or more. I was under all of my calorie goals today and had a pretty active day so I'm happy with that.

on a side note- I WISH RESULTS WERE IMMEDIATE!!!! that is all.

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Day 3

Well, today is my day off from the treadmill so I was trying to make it a point to not go too far off my calories today. I went slightly over by about 100 calories, but I was also on my feet much more than usual today and I spent time cleaning out my car and vacuuming it also so I think that may have made up for it. I had a banana for breakfast, a cup of clam chowder for lunch... I also cheated a bit and had some cheesy mashed potatoes with a little butter and sour cream... BUT it could've been worse. And then I had a bowl of Lucky Charms for dinner. I logged everything into MFP though and it didn't come out as bad as I expected it to. I think the weekend will be a struggle but I am going to try to stay optimistic.

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Day 2

Today was another good day. I did pretty poorly for breakfast because I was in a hurry but I made up for it with dinner. I had a McDonalds breakfast burrito on the go this morning. But I drink a 32 oz water with it so that was good. For lunch I ate KFC grilled chicken. (dark meat)... I had the mac and cheese and mashed potatoes single servings as well. My lunch was not super unhealthy. About 550 calories total. For dinner I knew I had to take it easy since my breakfast and lunch were calorie heavy so I ate a chicken breast with mixed veggies. This kept me at my calorie goal and I haven't gotten on the treadmill yet today. I am getting ready to jump on now.

I watched a video link that someone on MFP posted - it was a video of a girl doing 100 burpies. WHAT? I don't like the idea of doing ANY burpies much less 100. BUT I thought I might work up to that goal. Maybe 10 a day on my off days from running until I get up to a point where I can try doing 50 and then 100. We'll see... I really prefer to stick to running but I know the burpies are a great way to burn calories fast.

Anyway that's all I got today- I hope all of you were successful today! I will edit this post later with my treadmill results.

**edit**

I did my mile today in 13:23. It was SOOOO hard today... and I tried running in my old tennis shoes wondering if that would solve my shin splints problems and no go... I guess it's just harder than I remember because I'm starting from scratch. I just have to work through it and know that it's going to take time to be where I was. Patience!! I need more patience. lol. But I've decreased my mile time both nights in a row now so that's a good sign even though I was FIGHTING my ass off to do it.

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Day 1 - WEIGH-IN WEDNESDAY

Weigh-In Wednesday

STARTING WEIGHT: 208 lbs

Today's Weight: 206.8 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 1.2 lbs

Today was a rough day, not really diet-wise but just in general. I slept horribly last night because my dog was up all night with a cough. A BAD cough.... This morning I had to call the vet, but I didn't want to take her in as an "emergency" visit because I would've paid twice as much for the visit. So I asked them to fit me in today and they got me in at 3:30... So I didn't eat breakfast because I slept in so late making up for my lack of sleep during the night... then I met a friend for lunch where I ate a half turkey sandwich on sliced wheat. It was plain except for I told them to put just the tiniest amount of lite mayo. And then I had a cup of broccoli cheddar soup and I drink water. After running out to do some work I then went to the vet and got home at about 5:30 and had to clean the kitchen before I could even think about eating dinner. My kitchen was such a disaster. Once the kitchen was taken care of I just didn't feel like cooking. It was a million degrees outside and I haven't been to the grocery. So since I had eaten so few calories so far today, I measured out Lucky Charms (which was the only thing I had in my kitchen that didn't require cooking) and I usually always have skim milk in the house. So I ate two bowls of Lucky Charms for dinner. I logged it into MFP and I was still under my calorie goal by 13 calories! And that doesn't include my run for today- which I haven't gotten on the treadmill yet but I plan on jumping on as soon as I finish typing this journal entry. My goal is to do another mile. I am not worried about working out for 15, 20, 30 minutes. I just want to do a mile. Once I feel comfortable getting a mile in daily (regardless of time) I will begin to change my routine to doing maybe 30 minutes at a time with no regard to distance. I just need to get back to a comfort level with jogging/walking again.

I hope you all had good days! :)

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Day 0

So I didn't call today Day 1 because I am going to count tomorrow as day 1 since it's Wednesday and I weight in on Wednesdays. (Hence-  weigh in Wednesdays.)

Today has been a good day. On track at least. For breakfast (since I didn't have healthy breakfast food in the house) I ate a half a pouch of tuna with 5 saltine crackers. It was about 120 calories. Then for lunch I met a friend at Jason's Deli. I ordered a half smoked turkey on sliced wheat with yellow mustard and lettuce and tomato - and I also ordered a cup of chicken tortilla soup. The sandwich also came with chips. They brought my food to me and it had potato chips and I was like "oh no!! i can't eat those! and the girl said "did you want baked lays instead?" so I said sure. Good thing too because I ended up taking the tomato/lettuce off the sandwich because it was too bulky and i hate that. And I ended up not eating all of the bread because it was doused in mustard. I like mustard but I don't enjoy when my food swims in it. So I ate the turkey and the handful of baked lays. i didn't like their chicken tortilla soup so I ate literally like 2 bites. Quite a waste of money if you think about it. Guess I should get to the grocery and get some healthy foods so I stop throwing money away.

Anyway as far as exercise, I did a little bit of stock rotating at a hospital today and I'm sure I burned about 100 calories doing that. (I'm not counting it though.) I also cut my grass today which was a total pain in the ass. My yard is bumpy and it was hot. I estimate I burned maybe 200 calories doing that. I went ahead and gave myself credit for burning about 170 calories to be safe. I also need to get on the treadmill tonight but with the lack of calories today and the activity I did cutting grass, I don't want to overdo it.. So I think I will just walk a mile at a pretty good pace and call it a night. I haven't eaten dinner yet but I have about 900 calories left to take in so it leaves me pretty wide open. I might hit up KFC and get a grilled chicken meal. That should only be about 600 calories. If even.

So, back on track as of now. I hope all of you had good days!

**edit**
I got on the treadmill and ended up doing 1 mile. It took me 15 minutes and 1 second. I had the WORST shin splints. I can tell I haven't run/walked in forever. I will get there.

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Another Commitment!

It's been a while, LJ...

Much has happened in the last 3 years since I took that initial step to change my life in 2010. On June 2 of 2010 I decided to change the way I was living. I wanted to eat healthy and become a "runner"...By the end of October I had lost 30lbs. I maintained that weight loss for almost 2 whole years!!

This past year has been a whirlwind for me. My twin sister moved away in December of 2011. I began gaining all my weight back because I felt lonely without my best friend and I got bored and depressed. I got stressed at work and was even fired from my job in December of 2012- after 6 1/2 years with the company. After an already rough year, unemployment catapulted me to a weight gain of about 10 extra pounds and I'm now at my highest weigh of my life. And then as of a few weeks ago, I found myself even more alone very suddenly when the guy I had been seeing for almost a year and a half ended things... I've been on an emotional roller coaster these last few weeks and I'm finally feeling like I need to do something for me. I feel like I'm starting all over, but I need to do it for me, and I need to do it heading in the right direction.

So I'm back, friends. I hope you're all still there and will support me the same way you did last time- I honestly wouldn't have been so successful without all the comments and encouragement from you all. My friend gethawt_getfit and I were on the same page in 2010 and we've made a pact to get back to LJ at LEAST four times a week. So here we go. It's now or never. I started a new job in March, I am newly single (which I'm doing my best not to dwell on) and now ready to get back to ME. It's a whole new journey. Please support me as I know it will be a very difficult road!!

And, by all means, if you're still out there, PLEASE comment and let me know! If you've reached your goals, fallen off the wagon (like me), or are still on your journey, let's do this together (again!).

Weigh-in is still Wednesdays. It's a tough thing to see the number higher than it's ever been but I'm prepared to see it and say good bye to it - FOREVER this time!

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Mariska
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