I agree with you that logging food will help establish patterns… but I actually don't think I really have a pattern… I know that is weird… and I know people will think this is an excuse, and that's ok because I know it's real, but I truly believe I suffer from B.E.D. It is a real thing. It stands for Binge Eating Disorder. I have read a lot about it and I really believe it's my problem.
One website says: "binge eaters often eat even when they’re not hungry and continue eating long after they’re full."
Sometimes I can have success with dieting… like about two months ago I was eating right AND exercising 5-6 times a week. I lost 9 pounds. And then one day, I just stopped. I could see I was making bad decisions and throwing away my 5 weeks of hard work and I couldn't control it… That's when I realized it had to be this BED thing that I heard about in a commercial on Hulu.
"Binge eating may be comforting for a brief moment, but then reality sets back in, along with regret and self-loathing. Binge eating often leads to weight gain and obesity, which only reinforces compulsive eating. The worse a binge eater feels about themself and their appearance, the more they use food to cope. It becomes a vicious cycle: eating to feel better, feeling even worse, and then turning back to food for relief."
The current severity of your binge eating behavior would likely be characterized as moderate.
I don't even know what kind of treatment you get for this, I'm still reading up on it… But there's bound to be something and I really do want to find it. I am tired of food being the one thing I can depend on because eventually it will bite me in the ass and turn on me… When I wind up single and alone forever, with type 2 Diabetes, or something worse. I have to find an answer.
I mean, you guys, I finished an ENTIRE pizza almost 2 weeks ago. A whole large pizza. All by myself. And I still could've eaten but I forced myself to stop (although a few hours later I had a bowl of cereal even though I wasn't hungry.) Who can do that? Who does that at all?!?!?!?? I felt so disgusting afterwards but it wasn't enough for me to change my habits. There has to be a way to do it. I've done it before... I need to figure out how to go about doing it again so that it works this time.
Now with all that said, I really do want to make a change, I just have to figure out how best to move forward... as odd as it sounds, I'm just glad to know that my behaviors aren't just mine, that other people suffer from this type of thing too... Isn't that awful?